


Feeling Electric

by HubcapsAndAshtrays



Category: Orange is the New Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 13:39:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5006800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HubcapsAndAshtrays/pseuds/HubcapsAndAshtrays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pizza delivery AU, The short one in which Alex is a pizza delivery girl and Piper is a hungover student who doesn't know how to tip.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feeling Electric

 

She's hungover, correction, she's  _grossly_  hungover. She and her roommate Polly had hosted a raver last night because  _apparently_  it was a long held tradition at Smith for one the dorm residents/apartment owners to host an all-night party at least once a month.

Unfortunately it had been their month.

It's with a loud dramatic groan that Piper peels open her weighty eyelids. When the blurriness of her vision finally clears she realises quite alarmingly so that she'd somehow managed to fall asleep –pass out seems more likely- with half her body draped over the leather couch and the other half slumped on the floor.

It looks like she had landed in a cesspit.

Bottles and cans all which had once held some sort of alcoholic beverage were strew all across the ground and she didn't even want to  _think_  about what was making the floor sticky or where that horrible smell of decomposition was coming from. It was during times like this that she missed her life in Connecticut, her life with parents, cleaners and cooks - then of course she would just have to listen to the nag-less silence and the lack of cookie cutter ideals to realise she never wanted to go back to that. Even if they had maids, maids who would save her worrying about the state of her apartment and cooks who could conjure up a large array of tantalising hangover food to soak up all the alcohol currently sloshing around at the bottom of her stomach.

She spends a good few minutes aimlessly wandering around the apartment in a daze, just about managing to pick up on the fact that  _number one_  Polly was nowhere in sight and  _number two_  that they were fresh out of coffee or anything else that would make her feel vaguely human again and most importantly  _number three_  she couldn't find her pants… or her shirt for that matter, and she was almost one hundred percent sure that the night had in fact started with her fully clothed.

She meanders into the bathroom greedily downing a couple of painkillers before splashing cold water on her flushed face. Piper flops unceremoniously down onto her bed –first making sure no one was in it, before checking her phone. There's a missed call from her mother and a strange text from Polly that she's pretty sure she needs an interpreter to decipher.

Her phone is abandoned somewhere in the sheets as she stares miserably at the celling for several minutes her head feeling as if the Kraken itself was thrashing around up there. Suddenly she knows what she needs, her phone is pressed to her ears in a couple of seconds as she dials a familiar number.

_"Hot Piece Pizza, how can I help you?"_

* * *

Its nearly two hours later when there's a pounding knock at the door, Piper clad in her fluffy nightgown and pink bunny slippers stomps over to the front door irritated at having to wait  _two whole hours_  for a pizza from a place that she knows is no more than a fifteen minute drive from where she is. That combined with her knew found knowledge that the assignment she thought she had two weeks on was due in a _few days and_ the fact that she still had  _no idea_  where Polly was has her swinging the door open angrily, more than ready to take out her frustrations on the pimply teenaged boy that usually delivers.

However, she is thrown a curve-ball when instead of the greasy haired boy she is greeted with a  _woman_ , a tall woman with dark hair, a tall woman with dark hair wearing a fitting leather jacket, a tall woman with dark hair wearing a fitted leather jacket, black rimmed glasses and a bored expression. The woman unzips the food delivery bag pulling out a large box before extracting a crumpled handwritten bill from her pocket.

"One large pepperoni pizza with avocado, extra mushrooms, hold the…Pepperoni, is this for real?" her husky voice is filled with amusement and Piper just wants her pizza without the judgment thank you very much.

"How much?" she asks impatiently feeling her head pound

The woman raises a perfectly sculpted brow before fumbling with the bill once more and it's clear that she's pretty new to this "uh, seventy dollars" her eyebrow fly up "geez are the mushrooms glazed with gold or something?"

Pipers eyes nearly bulge out of her skull " _What?!_ "

The woman quickly adjusts her glasses squinting at the messy handwriting "Oh, crap I think that's meant to be a... one, ten dollars"

Piper lets out an irritated exhale "You nearly gave me a heart attack"

"It's ok" She says and she seems to genuinely be trying to comfort the blonde before she smiles flirtatiously "I can do mouth to mouth" her voice is annoyingly cocky and there is no mistaking that the type of mouth to mouth she is talking about is in _no_  way medical.

Piper however is not in the mood for flirty incompetent delivery girls and shoves a crumpled pile of dollar bills into the woman's awaiting hand before taking the pizza that she isn't even sure she wants anymore, she just wants to sleep off this hangover and forget that she is probably going to fail college and that her apartment has now most likely turned into a biological hazard and that her best friend may or may not have been kidnapped.

The woman is staring at the crumpled bills with a frown "Stingy much? I thought you people were all about helping the needy and unfortunate"

Piper feels her temper flare this woman had no idea who she was or what type of person she was. She couldn't just be grouped in a box with the key thrown away. She shoves another dollar bill into the woman's hand with a growl "if you wanted to be making big bucks you should chosen a better job"

She slams the door shut just managing to make out a laugh and an smug "Enjoy your meal, Be a real shame if you choked on it!"

* * *

It's nearly a week later and Piper is snuggled on the couch watching a surprisingly good rom-com with Polly, Polly who she discovered hadn't been kidnapped but had left with some guy name Pete who she now can't seem to stop gushing over. The slow week had been filled with dreamy comments about how  _'his accent is soooo adorable'_ and how  _'he's soooo funny'_ frankly she was sick of it.

"Piper!" Polly is waving a hand in front of her face "I said I'm going to order a pizza, do you want anything?"

"No thanks" she says absently before she suddenly remembers her less than pleasant encounter last week "wait, from where?"

"Hot Piece" Polly says suspiciously "you know the place we  _always_  order from because it's cheap and never seems to shut, why?"

She grimaces "They hired a new asshole, smart-ass delivery girl, she's an jackass"

Polly blinks owlishly "That's an awful lot of ass there Piper" Piper fixes her with a glare and Polly raises her hands up in surrender "noted, I'll watch out for Super-Ass"

She's on the verge of falling asleep when she is abruptly awoken by shrill barking. Their neighbour's dog insisted on barking incessantly every time there was a single noise and sometimes when there wasn't. She's pretty sure they aren't allowed dogs in the building, maybe she needed to have a talk with the realtor.

"Polly the door" she calls her voice heavy with sleep before sliding back underneath the warm fluffy blanket. She's about three quarters down the slippery slope into blissful unconsciousness when she is shaken awake by Polly.

"What" she slurs attempting to pull the blanket over her head, _why did everyone think it was okay to wake her?_

"Looks like you got a secret admirer" there's something being set on her lap.

Piper sits up groggily, there's a pizza box on her lap, she opens it and inside is a small pepperoni-less pepperoni pizza with avocado and extra mushrooms and a small note that read 'Sry 4 being an ass,' the note is signed with a X and a A.V. which Piper guesses are the senders initials.

She frowns "I didn't ask for anything Polly"

There's a slice of pizza hanging out of Polly's mouth when she answers "I didn't order you anything. The pizza boy said it was for you"

"Boy?"

"Yeah, you know pimples, greasy hair, baseball cap... Kurt I think?"

Piper nods flipping the note knowing  _actually_  who it was from.

* * *

She keeps the note telling herself that she wants to use it to confirm it was in fact the dark haired woman who wrote it so she can also apologise because really if anyone had been an asshole that day it had been her.

That day comes a lot sooner than expected as Pete has driven up from Plymouth to stay with them for a few days, apparently they had become official and were celebrating it or something like that. He's been ordering Pizza and buying a new pack of beer almost every day, usually Piper would be irritated by the greasy meaty smell that is now permanently permeating the apartment walls but lately she can't bring herself to care, not that she'd admit it but she's been anxiously looking forward to seeing the dark haired delivery girl again. After reviewing their conversation post-hangover she had found herself amused and intrigued by the woman.

The door knocks and the neighbor's dog shrieks -she  _really_  needs to have that chat, Piper opens the door and …it's  _her_. Piper is struck, she doesn't remember the brunette looking quite like  _this_. Her un-hungover eyes gaze over the tall figure taking in the woman's striking grey-green eyes and black skinny jeans that may as well have been painted on, and she's holding a motorcycle helmet and Piper is suddenly imagining her on a sleek black bike and-

"Had your fill?" the voice is amused, Piper's roaming eyes snap up to the woman's face.

She's pretty sure there's an impressive blush climbing up her neck right about now "Sorry"

The woman doesn't look offended in fact she's just grinning wider "You know most people are a lot more subtle"

Piper thinks of a witty comeback but alas her mind fails her, the note suddenly springs to the forefront of her mind "Did you leave that note?"

"What note?" and it's obvious in her tone that the woman knows  _exactly_  what note she is talking about but wants to drag this out

"The apology note"

The woman pretends to think for a moment "What did it say?"

"Sorry for being an asshole"

She nods solemnly "Apology accepted"

"What?" Piper frowns before it hits her and oh she thought she was  _so good_  didn't she "I wasn't apologising! I was just saying what the note said, you asked!"

"Its _ok_  kid I forgive you" she says in mock placation "That dollar tip was pretty useful actually, I put it towards my college fund only 9 thousand and a bit more to go" her voice is amused and it seems to be contagious because suddenly there's a small smile pulling at Piper's lips

"Ok, ok I'm sorry"

The woman nods before holding out a few boxes "Here's your pizzas"

* * *

Things continue on like that for a while with the pizza delivery woman coming around to deliver their pizzas. She hasn't seen the teenage boy in a while and thinking about why that might be spreads a smile on her face. She's been ordering more than usual, secretly looking forward to the brunette's quick visits which are usually filled with smart-ass quips and suggestive comments which Piper has recently built up the courage to return.

It's about two and a half weeks later when Piper finally finds out the name of the woman who Polly had uncreatively dubbed the-hot-delivery-girl-who-Piper-totally-has-the-hots-for.

"What's the A.V. stand for?"

The woman is leaning against the door frame playing with her 'Hot Piece Pizza' baseball cap. She had had to come back because  _apparently_  she had  _conveniently_ forgotten to bring the fries she had ordered.

"What?"

"The note, you signed it AV, I assumed it was your name and not something like-"  _Alluring and Voluptuous_ Piper clears her suddenly dry throat "-Awesome and ...I don't know something beginning with V"

There's a smug smile plastered on her face, the very same look Piper used to abhor but it seems to be growing on her "You think I'm awesome?"

"I think that  _you_  think you're awesome"

Her glasses are pulled to rest on her head "Alex Vause"

Piper nods _Alex_  it suited her "I'm P-"

Alex interrupts "-Piper, i know"

"Wait? How do you know my name?" she doesn't remember telling her

She shrugs "Your roomie told me, she got sick of me referring to you guys as the cute blonde one and the other one"

Her next words catch in her throat "You think I'm cute?"

Alex is frowning at her with a look that screams 'duh' "Fifteen dollars"

She's gaping in confusion "Sorry?"

Alex gestures to the boxes in her arms "For the food, fifteen dollars"

"Right"

* * *

There's another note in the box, this time it's just a single cell phone number signed A.V. with an X and a 'call me'"

She decided to keep her waiting a day before she calls,

She manages a few hours.

* * *

It's Friday again and Piper is on her bed trying and failing to complete and important essay arguing whether or not social media has encouraged positive or negative communications among people when her phone rings.

It's Alex.

"Hello"

"Can you meet me downstairs in 10?"

Piper just shakes her head with a fond smile she is now more than used to Alex's strange variety of ways of answering the phone.

So far there's been the (not so) hypothetical question,

" _Hey Pipes if one hypothetically got drunk and married in Vegas how much would an annulment cost?…_ _hypothetically  of course"_

The drunk ramblings,

" _Pipes what if the earth is just a big reality TV show that all the other planets are watching, E.T could be laughing at us! isn't that mamazing!"_

The every-other-sentence-is-an-sexual-innuendo,

" _I'm good with melons, big round juicy ripe ones, but I'm not partial I can work with smaller ones they're actually easier to handle, and I think a hands on approach is best"_

" _Aleeex…"_

" _What, I make a mean grilled melon prosciutto, do you want the recipe or not?"_

"Yes" she says there's no question

"Good, you can come with me"

She's jumping around with the phone to one ear trying to pull on a pair of skinny jeans "Where to?"

"Think of it as a bit of work experience just wear anything"

* * *

Its ten minutes later and Piper staring uncertainly at the roaring beast in front of her, the beast an all-black Alex is currently mounted upon.

"Ready for this Pipes?" Alex is revving the engine and the machine beast is roaring again wanting to be let loose.

Piper eyes the helmet held out for her nervously "I've never been on a motorcycle before. I value my life way too much"

She can practically hear Alex's eye roll behind her visor "Seriously? You have to come on, call it a life experience"

She's standing still half on the verge of running over to the bike half on the verge of turning away with her tail between her legs. Alex beckons her over with a single finger and she finds herself taking the helmet and sliding on the bike behind Alex in a single second.

She wraps her arms around Alex's midsection lightly, there's a low chuckle before Alex gently grabs her hands and tightens her hold on her abdomen

"Falling off is no fun, trust me kid"

Piper's response is stolen as Alex quickly takes off, her arms clamp even tighter around the brunette as she lets out a terrified squeal.

There are few cars out this late at night but she still holds her breath every time Alex swerves past one, she's sure Alex is purposefully cutting it close to give her a near heart attack. She soon however she finds herself relaxing and enjoying the way they seemed to knife through the cool night air, it's over all too soon.

Alex hops off the bike pulling off her helmet and is round the back unstrapping a bag pulling of pizza boxes "come on" she says offering her hand out to the shaky blonde who takes it eagerly.

They are parked outside a large house, it's a loud place some sort of party with which seems to be spilling onto the street. The order is six pizzas so Piper is holding half the boxes. They ring the doorbell and out spills a couple of teenaged boys complete with backward baseball caps and football jerseys who spend to long looking the two up and down.

"You guys aren't the strippers are you?"

Piper nearly chokes but Alex is unperturbed as she shakes her head holding up the boxes "Pizza"

"Cool" he pulls out a crumpled pile of bills with a frown "I only got twenty-five"

Alex stares at the pile "How about you give us a couple beers and I charge you for five boxes instead of six"

"Sweet" he says taking all the boxes haphazardly

Alex hands Piper the beer cans as she mounts back on the bike "Come on, we have mouths to feed!"

* * *

After finishing all the deliveries Alex had driven to a nearby park, they're sat on a swing set drinking their bartered beers in the dark.

Alex is first to break the silence "Thanks for keeping me company"

She turns to the brunette who is staring at her, her green eyes almost glinting in the night, she shrugs "It was fun"

Alex lets out an amused chuckle and shakes her head "The novelty wears off pretty quick trust me kid"

One of the deliveries had been at the home of a young woman with a tiny baby, the child was screaming and the mother looked for all the world like she hadn't slept a single wink in the past year. Piper had been shocked to see another side of Alex as she helped the woman bring the boxes into her home and then went as far as giving her some tips on how to get the little one to sleep.

"Despite what I first thought you're pretty sweet"

Alex's nose creases in a way that completely contradicts her next statement "What? Sweet? No thanks"

Piper rolls her eyes good-naturedly digging her feet into the wood-chips to bring her swinging to a halt "Nothing's wrong with being sweet"

"So what did you first think about me?"

"That you were an asshole-"

Alex cuts her off with a chuckle "Nothing I haven't heard before"

"And completely arrogant-"

She purses her lips with a slight nod "Somewhat true. Want to know what I thought of you?"

Piper pretends to think about it for a while "Let me guess, spoiled over-privileged brat?"

"No" now Alex is off the swing set and approaching her and she feels the need to also stand "I thought you were fiery, spunky even, and even though you were wearing a fluffy pink robe and bunny slippers I thought you were so,  _so_  hot"

"Really?" she breaths

She has that smug look across her face and Piper can't bring herself to care because she is suddenly leaning in and Piper finds herself leaning to meet her, she can feel her warm breath on her cold cheeks and she can see the icy puffs of her breath when she speaks next.

"You see Piper sweet people don't do this"

With this she quickly pushes her glasses up onto her head and almost roughly closes the gap between them and Piper is completely frozen for trying to take in what was happening.

"Or this"

Suddenly there is teeth scraping against her bottom lip and she is jolted into action and is soon kissing her back just as firmly

"We're in a kid's park" she whispers as she feels Alex's hands roaming upwards from their position around her waist.

Alex chuckles and she can feel the low vibrations against her lips "An  _empty_  kid's park"

Her mind feels like mush, like actual purée "Good point"

Alex suddenly pulls back and the spell is broken and she nearly whines mourning the loss "Wha?"

"Not so sweet now am I" she has a brow raised and is half smirking

Piper shakes her head disbelievingly"That was a dick move"

"Takes one to know one"

She scoffs but a smile is creeping onto her face "What is this third grade?"

"I hope not I'm not thinking very third grade things"

Piper takes the opportunity to pull Alex's 'Hot Piece Pizza' baseball cap out of her hand and place it on her head

Alex is watching her strangely "What are you doing?"

She adjusts the brim "Holding your hat hostage"

"I see... why are you holding my hat hostage?"

"For ransom" she answers simply

She's squinting "What do you want?"

She gestures behind her "Come down the slide with me"

Alex laughs "I'm not going down the slide with you like a five year old"

She gestures to her head "Hence the hat"

Alex raises a brow "You know ransoms only work with something the person actually cares about"

"We'll see"

"You'd make a terrible criminal"

"Uh huh"

"...It's kind of cold can I have my hat"

"Nope"

"I'm not going down that slide"

"We'll see"

* * *

They are back at Piper's apartment after Alex had dropped her back and once again they are standing on opposite sides of the door frame

"You want to come in?" asks Piper nervously

She shakes her head "Maybe some other time, I got to take the bike to the shop"

"I'll see you tomorrow"

Alex frowns "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I think I might order in" she leans against the door frame with a shy smile

"Any particular reason?"

"Not really, there's just this super hot delivery girl I want to see"

"yeah?"

"yeah"


End file.
